Gymnasium etiquette and staying in the zone

Last week I took the plunge and joined Lincoln University gym. Drastic measures are called for – the lifestyle in this networking game is too social networking oriented, and I’m not talking about online social networks.

Anthony took me through a 1 hour induction process measuring weight, Body Mass Index etc etc etc although they don’t pay much heed to BMI at the gym – too many muscular blokes there that render the measurement irrelevant. I can’t remember all the parameters they measured. All I know is that some improvement is called for. It’s been sometime.

So I’ve got a programme that lasts somewhere between 60 – and 90 minutes and I’ve now been through it 4 times in the past week including 3 consecutive days this week. We have had a bank holiday weekend in that time so there have been forces pushing back against the weightloss/fitness. By yesterday I’d lost 1.3Kg since the induction session which considering the bank holiday ain’t too bad.

Before anyone says anything Anthony tells me it’s ok to train every day as the weights programme exercises different muscles in a 3 day rotation.

Now the main thing about Lincoln University gym is that most of the people there, me apart, seem pretty fit. Course they are all about thirty years younger than me so no wonder. It is somewhat disconcerting seeing blokes not only doing chin-ups but pulling themselves right up so that their arms go straight down by their sides – aka gymnasts on the rings – I can’t explain it any better and didn’t think it would be appropriate to take photos. It’s a good job the gym has a high ceiling otherwise they’d be banging their heads on it.

The other reason for not taking photos is because of the extremely fit girls in the room. It’s hard enough not to appear to be staring without causing more of a stir by using the camera. This means you have to develop a survival technique. Be seen to be in your own zone. Not staring at others. It’s all about etiquette I suppose. Just sneaked in the selfie of me in the pic above.

This means plugging in earphones and generally staring straight ahead. In the gym nobody talks to each other. They all stare straight ahead, sometimes at themselves in the mirror, or they stare at weights, assessing which ones to use next, presumably. Obviously to participate in this enforced zonality one needs to have ones own sounds. I happen to have some good stuff on my phone – Donna Summer’s Greatest Hits, Abba Gold and other quality material that has stood the test of time. My selection is fairly limited though so after 4 sessions it has become quite repetitive. I’m going to have to get some new tunes.

In the meantime the gym does provide four channels of TV on a screen at each workstation (or whatever it’s called). Most of what’s on offer is either crappy daytime TV or quite naturally, music channels. The music videos are quite illuminating. I’m sorry if this is not news to you but a big percentage of them seem to feature semi naked women jiggling around on screen.

In my day we had Pan’s People and Hot Gossip but they were tame compared to what seems to be standard fare nowadays. I dunno. To understand where I’m coming from you need to realise that my fave movie is Mary Poppins. Nuff said.

Yesterday I plugged in to the gym sounds and fair play they were upbeat enough to up my pace and get my pulse going – the exercise did that, not the videos. The hardest part about going to the gym is that I have to walk home afterwards. Up Steep Hill for those who know Lincoln. For those that don’t know Lincoln Steep Hill is about a 1 in 1 gradient, or at least that’s how it feels even without having been to the gym. It’s not called Steep Hill for nothing.

You will be getting periodic updates on my progress in the gym, the regularity of which will depend on whether there actually is progress. If there is none I’ll be keeping quiet but expect to hear something soon:) My only short term problem is that at the end of next week I’m off to the Genband Perspectives conference in Orlando which will involve a week of conspicuous over consumption. It is the US of A after all. Let’s hope the hotel has a gymnasium eh?

Stay tuned. Hear it first on trefor.net.