Men stood outside M&S outlet store waiting for their women

Was shopping with Kid2 in Cheshire Oaks Outlet Village on the Wirral. She is going to be working for Hilton in Spain for 6 months and needs some suitable attire for the job. On occasions like this the M&S outlet store is the place to be and there we went. We got all the things she needed plus some stuff she didn’t need (party dresses!) for about £66. And I got a pair of  orangey brown shorts for £7.

This free advert for the M&S outlet store does however come with a health warning. Even though it has a menswear section the shop is no place to go if you are a bloke. It is full of women and their daughters clogging up the aisles. Some women have husbands in tow. The man has to stand there obediently whilst his wife holds up shirts, jumpers, jackets etc against him to see it it is a suitable fit, colour design. Poor bugger.

Kid2 decided she needed to try something on. I could stand the waiting no longer and went outside in search of a decent mobile signal. I wasn’t the only one. Outside M&S is where the real men go. The men who can no longer take jumpers, dressing gowns, slippers or polo shirts.

Outside the shop I found I wasn’t the only guy who couldn’t take it. I took a few steps back and surreptitiously froze some pixels on my phone. There was no conversation amongst the blokes. We stood their in silent isolation. As well as me there was an older guy and someone who was probably still in his twenties. The younger guy kept peering in to see where she was and eventually succumbed to going back inside in the vain hope that she could be chivvied up.

Not a chance son. This isn’t just M&S we are talking about. It is the M&S Outlet Store. Bargains galore. My dear old Mam, who lives in Peel in the Isle of Man, can sometimes take three hours to get in and out of M&S in Douglas. Once in she keeps bumping in to people she knows and “goes for a coffee”. Fortunately the outlet Store doesn’t have a cafe. Would be a complete waste of time anyway. A woman knows that the window of opportunity at the Outlet Village is probably limited and she needs to stay focussed on the task in hand.

Ordinarily the right thing to do would have been to find a pub to go and sit in. On this occasion I was needed at “the kill” to hand over my credit card. Also I was going to have to drive back to Lincoln later that day so beer wasn’t on the agenda.

It has to be said that I did very well myself not to spend any more than the £7 on the pair of shorts. I stood for a while in the Church’s shoe shop. I was half tempted but  I rarely have occasion to wear posh work shoes nowadays.

That’s all folks. M&S outlet store – hours of fun and a huge choice of socks.

Published by Trefor Davies

Liver of life, father of four, CTO of trefor.net, writer, poet, philosopherontap.com