The definitive beetroot sandwich. This post was originally published on philosopherontap and is reproduced here by kind permission of my sister Sue, though I haven’t actually asked her (I’m sure it will be ok).

Ordinarily this kind of flagrant plagiarism is frowned upon by the SEO powers that be at Google but the original post is so good that to alter it would be an insult to the artistic integrity of its author. The post is therefore reproduced unaltered except for this preamble and for the featured image which didn’t appear in the original.

The subject of the image itself is a somewhat grubby jar of Waitrose pickled beetroot as opposed to an actual beetroot sandwich. That is because I don’t like beetroot sandwiches (soz) and therefore to make one just for the photograph would have been a waste of good food. I will eat beetroot as a side item in a salad, preferably a baby beet.

Not sure I approve of the salt btw but if that’s what the recipe calls for…

Read on:

Ingredients
1 Large, crusty, unsliced white loaf
Butter
1 Jar pickled baby beets
Salt to taste

Equipment
1 x side plate (or larger depending on the size of your bread) for presentation
1 x bread knife
1 x knife, fork, teaspoon

Using your bread knife, take your large unsliced loaf and cut two thick doorstop slices. If your bread is of the variety which tapers at each end (eg. a Bloomer), make sure you have two slices of the same size. Butter your bread liberally across the whole face of the slice.

Next, open your jar of Baby Pickled Beets. Note – it must be baby beetroot as the bigger variety can sometimes be too crunchy which detracts from the overall quality of the result. Using your teaspoon, select your baby beet, removing it from the jar to the plate. Take your knife and fork and cut the beetroot into generous, chunky slices. Arrange on the buttered bread. Apply seasoning as appropriate. Place finished sandwich on the same plate that you used to cut the beetroot as this will give you the opportunity to soak up all that extra vinegary, beetrooty, loveliness. Serve with large mug of steaming black filter coffee.

Variations
Some schools of thought state that the beetroot slicing should be on a separate plate. They are wrong. Others dictate that pre-sliced beetroot be used, and sometimes even the crinkle cut variety. I can understand this approach as it does take a step out of the process, and avoids dying ones fingers purple, but it does mean you cannot express your individuality in the chunkiness of your beetroot slices.

Warning
Loading your sandwich with too many beetroot chunks can result in mid-bite overflow. If you’re going to do this, make sure you’re wearing appropriate protective clothing.

Other eminently digestable sandwich reads include:

The fish finger sandwich
The perfect bacon sandwich
Rook’s off
Ice cream sandwich