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End User fun stuff net neutrality Regs travel

Connected Like a Peasant

On a recent trip to France, I spent a day and a half in Chartres. I toured the cathedral there. I think there are strong similarities between the way we relate to technology today and the way people once related to technology in medieval Europe. This applies to emerging technologies, such as augmented reality and issues of net neutrality.

Chartres.01.205.town.

While in Chartres I learned that the latin word cathdra means seat. Thus, in medieval times the religious centers were the seat of power, which is how those domed buildings that housed the centers of power came to be known as cathedrals. We retain the same sense of the word when we refer to a seat of government, or a county seat – other places where domed buildings house the centers of power. These seats are the places where decisions are made on the behalf of other — is that enough foreshadowing on the net neutrality issue?

I picked up this etymology lesson from an old codger…er, scholar named Malcolm Miller. Or, rather, Sir Malcolm, as the gentleman has been knighted. Twice. Sir Malcolm is a British tour guide — a living legend, really — who has been working at the Chartres cathedral for 57 years. I didn’t know he was a living legend before I arrived in Chartres, however after spending 90 minutes listening to him talk I can see why he is so revered.

The nature of Sir Malcolm’s tour is to tell stories and he did just that, telling us about the meaning of the pictures in the stained glass. He explained that we can approach the elaborate stained glass like we would approach a modern day library. (Remember that the guy is 80 years old. He still thinks libraries serve a vital function. We let it slide. Library…Internet…same thing.)

Sir Malcolm began the tour by asking, “Would you go into a library and say, ‘Let’s meet for an hour and read all the books?’ No, of course not,” he continued, “and so to read all the history just in this church would likewise take a lifetime.”

He was explaining that the church was both a seat of power and a center of learning. That is, in a time when most people did not read or write, in a time when paper did not exist, the sculptures and stained glass of the church were the historical record of society. And who interprets the historical record? Of course, those who hold the money to sponsor the building of that historical record.

Chartres Map

By the end of 2014, according to Cisco research, the number of connected devices will exceed the world’s population — more than seven billion. Imagine that, a world in which digital devices on The Network outnumber humans. And how about this tidbit…by end of this year, 864 million phones and 103 million cars will support augmented reality (AR).

We are becoming more connected to information through our devices. Well, duh.

But is this new? I mean, sure, the mechanics of the digital devices are new, but I mean is it new to have society so interconnected through a mainstream channel of information?

Consider this: Today I can slip Google Glass on my head, hold up a can of creamed corn to read its bar code, and…voila! Google Glass will tell me the story of that can of corn (well, some unnamed database will tell the story). Calories, ingredients, nutritional value, etc., all that metadata tells me a modern story regarding that little piece of the external world. It’s metadata on the real world; the same as a stained glass window was, once upon a time.

I know it is one serious leap, comparing a web site or an Internet-enabled app to a stained glass window in a cathedral, but isn’t it the same relationship? Do we not look at all this metadata and information as stories of the “real” world? Isn’t that what modern technology is trying to provide us now – a way to better understand the world? That, and a means of connecting and communicating with people? That’s the modern version of stained glass in a cathedral.

Chartres.01.124.labyrinth

On the tour, I also learned something about how that stained glass got into those cathedrals. Sir Malcolm pointed out a couple of important features, such as the marks in the stone below each 30-foot high piece of colored glass — marks similar to logos — that identified who paid for that particular piece. Furthermore, our trusty guide said that the story told in each glass was the story that the sponsor wanted to have told. For example, the cobblers of the region paid to put in a stained glass that told the story of the Good Samaritan as well as the story of Adam and Eve’s fall from the Garden of Eden. The cobblers, for some reason, were trying to make a link between those two stories. Sir Malcolm explained that the story in the glass was a commentary on the Bible stories, providing material with which the clergy could instruct society. The commentaries were a way of informing society of two important things: (1) What was in the Bible, and (2) How people should behave, based on what was in the Bible.

So we see that it was not solely the church that interpreted reality. The merchants who worked with and built the church also had a say in the stories being told. These sponsors included guilds of cobblers, water bearers (think municipal water system), bakers, wine makers (think of all that wine purchased for the sacrament), cheese makers (blessed are the cheese makers), etc.

The church of medieval Europe was big business. He who told the story in those seats of power, called cathedrals, controlled the social structure.

Augmented reality? Net neutrality? Some big issues are on the horizon, matters that will change the basic structure of human society. Perhaps we can learn something from the history of the medieval church. Maybe, just maybe, we can take the time to recall the importance of the Golden Rule. You remember the Golden Rule, right? Go look it up — at the library.

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Business food and drink

Sell by dates taken to the extreme

activa yoghurt sell by date

Activia yoghurt introduce very precise sell by dates. Ya gotta laugh innit. I was just polishing off this peach flavoured Activia, eaten in tandem with a medley of both fresh and tinned peaches with fresh ripe mango (for the foodies amongst us) and for some reason it occurred to me to look at the sell by date. Might be the use by date. Not sure.

Doesn’t matter really. Sell by or use by, it was sufficiently far into the future to give me confidence that no bodily harm would come to me having consumed the pot. Tasty it was too.

Then I noticed that not only had Activia provided a sell by/use by date but they had included a very precise time on that day by which the yoghurt would have to be sold/used. This degree of attention to detail and the customer’s well being is laudible but must surely lead to confusion in the aisles of supermarkets up and down the country. At eight minutes to seven the yoghurt is ok but one minute later and you had better look out pardner. “Health and Safety” would be up in arms, on your back.

I also note that Activia, in English, likes to spell yoghurt yogurt. My standard way of checking a spelling is to enter the word in the google search bar to see what comes up. On this occasion both yog and yogh seemed to be ok although WordPress would appear to disapprove of yog. This seems unusual to me because having originated in the good ole US of A I’d have expected WordPress to go for the simple spelling aka plow, color et al.

Reading Activia labels can also be very educating. In this instance for example we can see that translations of peach are peche and perzik. I leave it to you to decide on the languages. Choosing incorrectly could lead to embarrassing mistakes caused by not being understood by waiters and shop assistants in countries around the globe.

Notwithstanding all of this the yo’ghurt I consumed was the last in the fridge and we are unlikely to have to face up to “the date” as an issue.Based on this sample size of one I’d say Activia yogs fly off the shelves making me think that the only reason they have “a date” on them at all is that bloke in H&S again.

I quite liked my Activia. It went well with the fruit medley and is a handy, easy to throw together dessert for the busy exec looking to squeeze in a quality meal between emails and blog posts.

Other yoghurts are available. This post was brought to you by Activia, Yeo Valley, Danone, Actimel, Shape, Muller, Yoplait, Nestle, Yakult and the Heathrow Eggs and Dairy Company.

Ciao amigos. Drink more milk.

Categories
Bad Stuff End User food and drink fun stuff travel Weekend

Saturday Snapshot (24-May-2014)

Another Normandy weekend found La Famille Kessel welcoming a newbie to our oh-so-humble abode in Blangy-le-Château, which of course meant hitting the road. Though perhaps ‘hitting’ is too strong a term, as the rental car we have this time around is a Suzuki Celerio, a strange tiny beast of a vehicle that huffs-and-puffs at the slightest incline. Maybe ‘patting the road’ is more accurate. Also, it offers the strangest version of an automatic transmission I have yet encountered, with a three-stop gearshift that one pushes forward (into ‘R’) to go backwards and backward (into ‘D’) to go forwards. Neutral (‘N’), I am glad to say, is rationally located in the middle, which is just as it should be.

Manual Automatic

Also, if the driver prefers they can manually shift the gears by tapping the gearshift slightly to the left from A, and then tapping it up (into ‘M+’) to move to the next highest gear and down (into ‘M-‘) to downshift.

An automatic Standard? A non-standard Automatic? I have no idea what to call this new breed of auto (though a quick spin around the Internet just now seems to indicate it is “automated manual transmission”), but regardless of drive type moniker it is one awful ride. Setting that aside, the Celerio did perform its function, though with no élan whatsoever.

But enough about the car already.

On Saturday afternoon following lunch and a rainstorm (or two rainstorms…three?…this time of year the weather shifts so fast in Normandy it is a fool’s errand to try to delineate such) our band of four piled into the Celerio and headed for Honfleur, the remarkably picturesque port town that bumps up along where the Seine meets La Manche (that’s “English Channel” to all of you good mother-tongue English speakers out there). A regular visit we make with first-time visitors, I have to say that My Missus and The Boy and I really do enjoy making the 25-minute drive from Blangy to Honfleur a few times each year. Honfleur is beautiful, quaint and extremely charming and as expected this serves to make the place a little too touristy. Still, it is the perfect size for an afternoon walkabout and offers plenty of high-end shopping for the well-heeled, including a good amount of art galleries whose wares (and probably owners) are in some form of constant shift as well as some be-careful-what-you-touch antique shops. There are a number of interesting churches to walk through, a museum dedicated to the life and artwork of Honfleur favorite son Eugène Boudin (who had much to do with Monet becoming…well, Monet), and all manner of historical this-n-that surrounding the oh-so-postcardy harbor. Finally, Honfleur offers some truly marvelous grub to be had…great seafood restaurants, a few very nice creperies, and — of course — Alexandre Bourdas’s matchless Sa.Qa.Na).

I parked the Celerio — pushing the gearshift forward to back into my spot in front of Saint-Leonard — and shoehorned my group out of the car and onto the sidewalk. Recompressed, we began easing into Honfleur, and as always the town didn’t disappoint. Boats in the harbor, crushes of people packed into the cafés and restaurants lining the northern end of the port (all tourist traps that should be avoided at all costs, but which aren’t), and a truly awful rock group playing badly under a tent at the port’s southeastern corner next to the ubiquitous carrousel. All good.
2014-05-24 15.52.462014-05-24 16.00.50

2014-05-24 16.15.442014-05-24 16.30.36

We wandered over the drawbridge at the mouth of the harbor and walked up into the north end of town. Honfleur is one of those places where you just can’t help but repeatedly snap your shutter, even if you have a comprehensive souvenir album and have also already taken every picture there is to take (and many times over, at that).

“The way the clouds layer the blue sky over such-n-such church…wow.” “What a remarkable boat! And the flags!” “Isn’t that cute?”

At one point My Missus headed into the Musée Eugène Boudin with my visiting friend, and The Boy and I shot over to La Belle-Iloise to grab up some quality canned mackerel products. Soon we would all reconnect at the Celerio, and…well, just in case we got stuck inside the darn thing I wanted to be prepared!

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fun stuff

Campaign for 3 day weekends – sign the petition

Campaign to make 3 day weekends permanent – petition

Another bank holiday yay with another chill out day in prospect. May have a bit of a potter this morning, game of golf this afternoon and finish off with a bbq. You might have something different in mind but by and large it’s all about enjoying yourself (the one exception being if you join the traffic jam to the coast).

It occurs to me that from around the end of April every weekend should officially be a 3 day weekend. Makes a lot of sense for the following reasons:

  1. It’s a good idea – people prefer holidays to working.
  2. A 4 day working week has the benefit that 4 is an even number. People working half days could have the option to work two full days instead of every morning or afternoon.
  3. It would make your annual leave allowance stretch further – have more opportunities to only have to use 4 days up to get 9 days off.
  4. It’s nicer to have time off in the summer.
  5. Transport networks get really clogged as people set off for a weekend away on a bank holiday. By effectively making every weekend a bank holiday people would not feel obliged to rush off and join a traffic jam as their weekends away would probably be more spread out.
  6. It would stimulate the economy be generating more bbq and misc gardening equipment associated sales.
  7. Ice cream vendors would also do well out of it creating even more jobs in this sector.
  8. We would avoid the risk of the few Bank Holiday weekends we do have of becoming a washout as there would be more of them thereby increasing the chance of nice weather.

Simples really. I may have missed one or two key points in my reasoning but feel free to add to the list by leaving a comment which in this instance is also how you sign the petition. Once we have 100,000 comments we will hand it to the prime minister for action. After all we are only a year away from a general election and he will be in a mood to do popular stuff.

We the undersigned call on the Prime Minister, Mr David Cameron, to make every weekend a Bank Holiday weekend starting from the last weekend in April and ending at the end of September when the weather starts to turn. You can do it Dave – you know you want to.

More great Bank Holiday reads:

Typical Bank Holiday weather
Why go abroad when you can go camping in the UK?
Holiday traffic – internet style

Don’t forget to share this post with your pals using the share buttons below:)

Categories
fun stuff

Most popular weather forecasts

most popular requests for weather forecast

Couldn’t help but notice the most popular places for weather forecasts on the Met Office site and it struck me that Birmingham was missing from the list. Wossgoinon I thought. Are the good burghers of Brum not interested in the weather? Isn’t the place the third most populous metropolitan area in the  United Kingdom?

Perhaps they don’t get any! Surely they must. Weather doesn’t just pass them by in Birmingham. Does it? It must get a mention on the TV weather forecast. You don’t notice when you look at the forecast because you are only interested in your own location or where you are going.

Maybe people don’t voluntarily go to Birmingham. I’ve been there three times in recent years. Once taking Kid2 for a looksee at their University and twice to August LINX meetings. LINX like to get out of London in the summer where it can get unbearably hot. So they go to Birmingham!

Stop right there. This isn’t a bash Birmingham post.  I’m sure there must be lots of good things in Birmingham – I’ve already mentioned the University which took me by surprise and impressed even though Kid2 chose Durham in the end. This is an analysis of the most popular places for weather forecasts.

Taking it from the top down the most searched for weather forecast is for London. This is completely understandable. The population of the metropolitan area of London, according to Wikipedia and the 2011 census is 11,699,601. Well it was when they did the census, not counting illegal immigrants and the homeless.

Most people that live in London have to commute to work and need to know whether to take an umbrella or sunglasses. London is also a very popular tourist destination and folk want to know what to pack before they turn up. Used the service meself for that very reason. V handy and generally reasonably accurate these days. You should know that I lost my Cisco brolly last time I was in London. Was there for an ITSPA workshop. Got the brolly when attending a corporate jolly with Cisco at the Olympics. It was a v handy compact number. Suspect it was nicked but hey…

Next up is Manchester, the second most populous metropolitan area.  On the one hand one might ask why the residents of Manchester bother looking up the weather forecast because allegedly it rains most of the time. This might be totally unfair (or it might not). Maybe they keep looking to see if there is a gap coming in the weather front so that they can get their washing out to dry. Forget it love. Buy a tumble dryer.

At this stage of the discussion it is worth noting that in the table of population sizes by metropolitan area, distilled from a more extensive list on Wikipedia, Manchester appears more than once. In fact several cities appear several times in the Wikipedia source because they split out subdivisions. Where possible I tried to merge the subdivisions to provide more compact reading. This was complicated by the fact that Liverpool and Manchester, both major metropolitan areas in their own right also appeared more than once as Manchester/Liverpool.

Drilling in to this showed that such areas contained reasonable sized towns in between the two major cities. I figured this was easily remedied by giving these reasonable sized towns their own identities in the table but after doing so for Warrington decided I couldn’t be bothered to do it for the others so gave up. What you have here is a mix of data of my own concoction:)

The population table below is therefore filled with dual populations who might prefer to be listed apart. Newcastle and Sunderland, Cardiff and Newport and Derby and Nottingham are particularly spring to mind. Tough taters.

Other notes are necessary. Reading is listed as the 8th most viewed weather forecast but doesn’t appear separately for its population. It is unfortunately subsumed by London. Why on earth Reading ranks for weather forecasts is as mysterious as why Birmingham doesn’t. Since I began this post I’ve added the most popular tourist destinations by rank (ref tripadvisor) to the table. At least Birmingham (for some peculiar reason) is on the list (must be the cricket) but Reading sure as heck ain’t. Notable omissions from the weather forecast rankings btw are Torquay and Llandudno who are both right up there as top ten tourist destinations.

Lowestoft ranks fourth for weather forecasts but appears neither in the population leagues nor the tourist top ten. Perhaps nobody actually lives in Lowestoft and it is merely a transit point for people catching ferries. And fishermen. I dunno.

Not worth dwelling on the rest of the data except to wonder whether Leeds and Cardiff shouldn’t be up there with Manchester for people wondering when the sun is going to come out. I leave the rest to your own interpretation.

Table below compiled for your reference. Make what you will of it. Please feel free to replicate quoting Wikipedia, Met Office, tripadvisor and trefor.net. No rights reserved on my part.

Rank Metropolitan Area Population Rank by interest in the weather tripadvisor top holiday destinations
1 London 11,699,601 1 1
2 Manchester 2,553,379 2
3 Birmingham 2,440,986 10
4 Leeds-Bradford 1,777,934 9 9
5 Glasgow 1,381,535 6
6 Liverpool 1,189,386 4
7 Sheffield 1,179,847
8 Nottingham-Derby 1,172,403
9 Newcastle-Sunderland 1,110,306
10 Southampton-Portsmouth 855,569
11 Cardiff-Newport 754,131 12
12 Bristol 617,280 7
13 Edinburgh 511,705 3 2
14 Leicester 508,916
15 Brighton 474,485 10
16 Bournemouth/Poole 466,266 11
17 Blackburn-Burnley 421,002
18 Middlesbrough 376,633
19 Stoke-on-Trent 372,775
20 West Midlands 359,262
21 Hull 314,018
22 Preston 313,322
23 Swansea/Neath/Port Talbot 300,352
24 Gloucester-Cheltenham 266,500
25 Plymouth 260,203
26 Blackpool 239,409
27 Milton Keynes 229,941
28 Northampton 215,963
29 Norwich 213,166
30 Aberdeen 197,328
31 Swindon 185,609
32 Ipswich 178,835
33 Manchester/Liverpool 175,405
34 Oxford 171,380
35 Warrington 165,456
36 Peterborough 163,379
37 Cambridge 158,434
38 Dundee 154,674
39 York 153,717 7 6
40 Telford 147,980
41 Grimsby 134,160
42 Hastings 133,422
43 Thanet 125,370
44 Burton-upon-Trent 122,199
45 Colchester 121,859
46 Eastbourne 118,219
47 Exeter 117,763 5
48 Torbay 115,410
49 Lincoln 114,879
50 Basingstoke 107,642
51 Bedford 106,940
52 Worcester 101,659
53 Falkirk 91,402
54 Ayr 61,365

Other great travel posts:

A day at Newmarket races
Underneath the arches – Lincoln Cathedral
Is there a travel agent left in town

Categories
food and drink

Lasagne

Ingredients for lasagna if done properly don’t come cheap

Spent all afternoon yesterday preparing a lasagne. Used a BBC Good Food recipe –  classy if time consuming and well worth the effort. I’m not going to go through the recipe – you have the link.

Not particularly cheap to make mind you. Ingredients for lasagna involved a whole pack of prosciutto, a mozerella cheese and a handful of fresh basil. You can’t buy a handful of fresh basil. It comes by the pot at about ten pence a leaf (ok bit of an exaggeration). Was able to make use of the nutmeg and grater I got for Christmas. Its only other application is in a cheese fondue, to my knowledge. I like cheese fondues.

Also used some fresh pasta sheets prepared ably by Kid3 who not only made the dough but also operated the machine producing exactly the right thickness of pasta. The pasta, being home made, was the cheapest bit of the recipe. My only role was bolting the machine to the table – has to be solidly secured for the correct pasta effect:) If you’ve never made fresh pasta you have to have a go. It’s far superior to the shop bought stuff.

Quite proud of the result with the lasagne. Kids cleaned their plates and went up for more without asking. Also proud to say that most of my kids are good cooks as witnessed by the fresh lasagne.

Not sure about the heir. He eats mostly beans on toast supplemented by curry whenever we meet up. In fairness his monthly budget is about what I spent on ingredients for this meal, including a bottle of wine I ended up not opening. It’ll get used at the rainfall measurement tool bbq tomorrow (see yesterday’s weekend post). Nice bottle of shiraz from Waitrose. Lamb casserole today. Slow cooked in a rich tomato sauce with green and red peppers. Yum. Got some leeks in the fridge which I’ll make something with.

Seeing as it’s a long weekend if anyone can get me some food related posts I’ll stick em up, as long as they are clean:) Make sure you send photos.


Other food related posts:
On yer bike – the big cheese
How to cook the perfect baked bean
Best pancake toppings
Important announcement on a Sunday morning

PS The share buttons on this post don’t seem to be v responsive. Don’t know why. Soz.

Categories
fun stuff

Rainfall measurement technique #2 the bbq method

Latest in the trefor.net series on rainfall measurement techniques involves the use of a bbq to collect rain water.

The beauty of this method is that very little effort is involved. You leave a bbq out uncovered, accidentally or otherwise, and after it has rained go out and see how much water is in it.

This is a pretty rough and ready method and certainly not as accurate as or finely gauged as our first rainfall measurement technique using spectacles as described here. Typical problems are highlighted here:

  • The surface area of a bbq is typically quite large with most having a diameter of a good eighteen inches to a couple of feet. It is better to have a small diameter to height ratio (d/h) for improved accuracy (is there science to back this up? not sure – could just be a popular myth and if so I’m surprised I fell for it).
  • The ratio of diameter to depth is also going to vary especially with bowl shaped bbqs as many tend to be. Identifying the average depth of water can in these circumstances require a degree in mathematics. I’m not aware of an app that does this.
  • One also has to lookout for leakage caused by open, or slightly open vents that exist in some bbqs (often these are in the lid though – if this is the case with your own bbq then you can ignore this bullet point – note leaving the lid on the bbq makes it useless for rainfall measurement).
  • A bbq tends to be fairly easy to move. Make sure you don’t leave it under a tree by mistake. This can totally muck up your results as a tree will prevent the rain directly hitting the bbq, or Rainfall Collection Surface (RCS) as described by the Worshipful Company of Rainfall Measurement Professionals (WCRMP) (sorry no link available – they haven’t caught up with the times yet hence the lack of an app). The after drip of a tree is not uniform and can not in any way be considered representative of the preceding level of rainfall.

The technique itself is fairly simple. You just leave the bbq out in an uncovered area (see bullet above re trees) and after a suitable amount of time go and see how much rain is in it.

In an ideal world the WCRMP would have recommended standard bbq sizes for the job so that a measure of consistency can be applied (to the job of measurement – no pun intended). They have not done this (quelle surprise). In their defence this is partly out of a recognition that there are many different makes and shapes of bbq out there and they didn’t want to be seen favouring any one manufacturer.

In my mind this was a mistake and one that has meant that this method of measuring rainfall has yet to be widely adopted. You certainly don’t hear weather forecasters on the BBC (other services are available – it’s your choice) mention the bbq technique. Usually they only say whether it is going to be bbq weather or not. With the right equipment all weather is bbq weather.

Often at times like this I am asked whether I can recommend a particular make of bbq for the job. Ordinarily when recommending a bbq I’d say a Weber but in this case when the specific feature requirement of rainfall measurement I’d say that Weber wasn’t right. Webers usually come with the aforementioned vents in the base and have bowl shapes that are particularly difficult to measure. Also Webers are expensive and you wouldn’t want to reduce its lifespan by introducing the problem of rust.

You would be wrong to think I was therefore suggesting a cheap bbq where it didn’t matter if you had to throw it away after a year or two. Cheap bbqs tend to have millions (yes millions) of screws and nuts and bolts and take hours, days1 even to assemble. I can only offer our own solution which is a stainless steel bbq/firepit that can happily be left out all year round (though we don’t).

Our firepit has a flat bottom and regular if sloping sides that would make it easy to measure the overall d/h number fwiw. The pictures below show our bbq in action for rainfall measuring. The first shows the level of water obtained in one wet night earlier this week. The second photo shows a pretty much full bbq, a level reached by the end of the afternoon after that first pic.

This was one wet day. Now despite having taken the time to describe the bbq method for rainfall measurement I have to confess that I’ve not gone as far as calibrating our bbq for this purpose. All I can say is that it looked as if we had roughly one inch of rain overnight and maybe another couple of inches during the day. It would have been a simple matter to use a plastic ruler taken from a kid’s pencil case but I didn’t.

It is recommended that you don’t risk annoying a kid by doing this and go out and buy a ruler (6 inch clear plastic should do the job) that can be used specifically for the purpose, perhaps keeping it in a convenient spot together with your other bbq cooking utensils. By using the same ruler every time you maintain consistency and remember that the kid’s pencil case is not always readily to hand during term time.

The day of the photo shoot was in fact and as is plain to see a very wet day. Very wet days like this tend to cause traffic chaos in Lincoln and this one was no exception. There was an accident downtown (maybe a mile and a half away) and the traffic tailed back past our house. It was quicker for me to walk to the Morning Star for a swift un (Anne is away) than it would have been to drive.

It might in theory be possible to derive a measurement for rainfall based on the length of traffic tailbacks but this would be unreliable and be very difficult to calibrate. The traffic tailback method would undoubtedly be of interest to BBC weather forecasters as it would allow them to engage with the traffic and travel department. Cross departmental relations are encouraged within the Beeb as it is seen as providing better value to the taxpayer  by maximising the efficient use of existing resources. Also they at the Beeb like having their cross departmental team building nights out – self funded no doubt as such evenings if taxpayer funded would mitigate the benefits of the aforementioned efficiencies.

To conclude, this post has described a very good, easy to implement if inaccurate method for measuring rainfall using a bbq. The bbq is not currently in rainfall collection mode. I have it stood up on its side as I didn’t want to go to the effort of emptying it later. It’s all about choosing your moments and I don’t actually care whether I know how much rain has fallen anyway. Don’t let me stop you though…

pic1 – overnight level
water filled bbq #1
pic2 – level by the end of the daywater filled bbq #2

1 When we first moved in to our house towards the end of the afternoon I nipped out to buy a bbq – it was a lovely sunny day and we figured it was the right thing to do. In the end it looked like it would take so long to put it together (millions of screws) that I had to go to Tesco and buy a couple of those disposable bbq trays that sort of do the job but are usually quite crappy. Ended up finishing the job the following weekend.

Categories
eleanor cross End User

Lincoln Eleanor Cross – the story continues

Work on the carving of the new Eleanor Cross for Lincoln continues with artist and sculptor Alan Ward making good progress this week. When looking at the work being done by Alan you begin to understand why in historical times it might take years to carve a statue. By using power tools Al has been able to reduce it to a couple of months. There is an awful lot of stone to hack away at.

The following photos show some progress during the week. The first one to appear was taken a few days before the second. The third image is a close up of the wing, The others are videos with a short chat with Alan regarding this week’s work and a look at him in action smoothing out some of the wing

Eleanor Cross Lincoln

Al Ward carving Eleanor Cross Lincoln

close up of wing in progress on Lincoln Eleanor Cross

Previous Eleanor Cross for Lincoln posts include:

Eleanor Cross begins to emerge
Eleanor Cross – the carving starts
Eleanor Cross – choosing the stone
New Eleanor Cross for Lincoln – a project of national significance

Categories
End User mobile connectivity travel

Gone Down to London to be the King

A visiting friend and I were slated for two days in London beginning Tuesday morning, however the night before My Missus came down with a painful malady I won’t describe here, so instead I put my friend on the Eurostar at the literal crack of dawn and returned home. Quite disappointed — I had been looking forward to hanging in London with my friend for over a month, and to catching up with other friends while in town, too (apologies once again, Tref, for not being able to connect for that beer) — I started pondering whether there was some way I could chase my friend up once my honey bunny recovered. Eurostar one-way ticket? Lessee. No. The price of that seat would be nearly double what I had paid for the original return ticket! Short hopper flight? The cost made that option a non-starter as well. Hitchhike? Really…come on. Then I remembered that back in my own personal Paleozoic Era (read: 2000) I had once taken a bus from Paris to London.

Not remembering the name of the bus company that offered service to London from Paris, I went all Bing on the problem and was soon staring nostalgically at the Eurolines website. Riiiiight. That was it. At the station at the end of the M3 train, whatevertheheck, at Galieni. I first came across an ad banner on the site that offered one-way Paris-London service for €18, shook my head in disbelief, and then very quickly came to disbelieve it when I saw the fine print (45 day advance purchase…my own, if it happened, would likely be closer to 45 minutes advance). C’est la vie. Regardless, the price was bound to still be quite good in comparison to the other options, so I punched my Departing From and Going To into the handy-dandy widget on the page and clicked Search.

€43. I was in business.

Eurolines typically runs seven buses from Paris to London, four of which I consider to be reasonable at my creaky 49 years of age (no overnight buses for me, outside of dire circumstance), and seeing as My Missus was seemingly coming around from her epically bad night-before and recovery morning I began focusing on the 15h00 bus (arrival at London Victoria at 21h30). At some point in the mix I thought I saw the word “wifi” in association with the Eurolines bus trips, and while that wasn’t a decision-maker I did find myself lightening to the prospect of a 6+ hour bus ride knowing I would be able to extend myself beyond the confines of the coach.
My Bus

As morning morphed into afternoon My Missus remained asleep, sloughing off the awfulness and catching up on lost winks. Just as I began shifting my bus plans to Wednesday morning, though, she popped up not-quite bright as a penny but somewhat shiny nonetheless. Before long my girl was breakfasted (at 13h30) and talking about going into work for the afternoon. I made a few noises about hopping on the bus to catch up with my friend, quickly received a sincere and truthful “Oh, you should definitely do that!”, and began once again to look forward to two days of London-style this-that-whatever.

13h54.

To AppleKory I went, fingers a-flyin’. I bought a ticket online for the 15h00 bus, printed the ticket out, threw a few essentials into my computer bag (like I had time to put a proper bag together…yeah, right), confirmed that my camera would be along for the ride (you want to know my camera’s name, inquisitive reader, I just know you do…information not forthcoming today), threw on a jacket I probably wouldn’t need and bolted.

14h05

Marcadet Poissonniers station, the M4. Change to the M3 at Réaumur–Sébastopol, direction Galieni. Short delays at many stations along the way, the tick-tocking clock in my head growing louder as said clock’s hands move ever-closer to 15h00. Pulling my ticket out of pocket to ensure Galieni is my target and discovering the small print that says — translated from the French — “Arrive at the station no later than 30 minutes before departure.” (it is 14h41 at this point, 19 minutes before departure and still two stops from the station). Uttering profanities, mental image of pounding the Metro train doors to hurry things along. Galieni. Dashing for the Eurolines station.

14h52. I am stepping on the proverbial skin-of-my-teeth, which has dribbled out of my mouth and under my shoes.

Check-in accomplished, I board the bus and find my seat. Sweat glands working? Check. Respiration at full capacity? Check. Skin temperature at maximum tolerance? Check. And then I start to relax. The on-board wifi can wait. I just want to feel the road moving under the bus wheels and exhale until Morpheus drags me off for a short doze. And soon enough that is exactly what happened.

Roughly an hour later I am awake. I am also hungry, having not eaten a thing since breakfast and not being able to grab any kind of a nibble at the bus station in my haste to make sure I was on the right side of the vehicle’s doors at departure. “Swallow it, Kory.”, I say to myself and I do. All I need is a little distraction, and if the Internet isn’t good for that it isn’t good for anything. I pull AppleKory out of her warm cozy place, fire her new self up (she is a whole other creature since I replaced her 1TB hard drive with a 2TB over the weekend), and start looking for trouble…er, the Eurolines wifi.

No dice. No joy. No wifi. On my bus “wifi” may as well have stood for “wishful fantasizing”, as there was no such service (the Eurolines website does say “free wifi**” with the ** indicating “**Available on most of our lines”…wishful, indeed). Thus I found myself relegated to whatever entertainment media I could find on the aforementioned 2TB hard drive. Another “C’est la vie.”

Eurotunnel

Compared to the Eurostar at just a little over two hours, even with wifi the six-and-a-half-hour Eurolines trip to London promised to be quite the slog. In truth, though, even without the wifi I would have to dig hard to slag it with anything approaching conviction. Comfortable seats, the consistent steady motion, travel companions without evident psychoses or hygiene challenges, a clean and usable waste management facility; for the price the Eurolines bus service has to be tossed onto the far too small “High Value” heap.

Following a very curious journey through the Eurotunnel — the driver drove the bus INTO a huge enclosed train (parking it right up behind another bus, with a truck then driven in and parked right behind us), which itself soon began to move — we were in the UK, barreling our way to London. Before long, Lewisham…passing by the Kia Oval (lights on, cricket match in progress!)…arriving at Victoria Coach Station.

I alighted with iPhoneKory in hand (still my not-so-smartphone, for now), knowing there had to be a Nando’s somewhere nearby.

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fun stuff

Is this the ugliest telephone?

Rob Lister is the all singing all dancing network engineer cum sys admin for LONAP, the London Access Point Internet Exchange.

And the award for the “Ugliest telephone of the year” goes to…

This was on a shelf with some pretty ugly telephones, this one stood out as the clear winner.

Designed by committee:

“No, let’s have the buttons represent a dial arrangement, that nobody has needed for the last 30 years… ”

“Kids won’t know what this means… Do they even use land lines? Let’s focus on the older users…”

“Okay. But it must have an answering machine crammed in there”

“Now we need another “dial” for the buttons that won’t fit on the first “dial…”

“Hmm. Then it needs a display. Let’s shove it awkwardly in the middle of that dial.”

“But it has to be cheap to manufacture. Hmm. We can’t have a nice ergonomic handset, just a basic plastic thing.”

“Yeah. So that’s all good. Lunch anyone?”

Other really interesting telephone posts include:

The all new waterproof handset
I have seen the light
The birth of a handset

Categories
End User travel

Art Techo

Marcadet-Poissonniers (both the M4 and the M12 make stops at the station, and I am on the former) is my hopping on point today, as it is the vast majority of times I make use of the Paris Metro, seeing as how the entrance is less than 50 meters from the Chez Kessel doorstep. Yet another stunning blue-sky spring day this mid-May Monday (ay-ay-ay), Paris really has been peacocking over the past week, splaying every one of her luminous feathers to maximum extension and effect. Not why we are here, though, to expound on the picturesque, so I’ll put the wanna-be poet back in his box and instead get wet with tech.

As people moving technology goes, RATP (Régie Autonome des Transports Parisiens) is at something of a crossroads. Still so much an analogue experience, the digital has been oozing in around the edges of Paris mass transit for some time, and recently it seems to have somewhat stepped up its game. For instance, whereas for literally decades the best a bus commuter could hope for regarding information on when the next bus might arrive at a particular stop was a posted published schedule, today Paris’s bus stops all offer updated electronic signs that indicate not only when the next bus will be stopping by but the next one after as well. And though this has been the norm in parts of the Metro for some time, the proliferation of such signage down there has markedly increased in recent years to now include every station (Kory Coming Clean: I did not travel to all of Paris’s 303 Metro stations to confirm ‘all’, but I do not recall the last time I stood waiting on a train platform lacking for the needed info). Still better than that, though, are the very new signs seen at Metro exits that indicate not only the bus lines that stop on the surface nearby, but also the number of minutes until the next bus on each of those lines will be arriving!

Train-BusNext Train

It’s all about synergy, baby! Well, that, and computers, databases, sensors, reporting software, and other such technological schrecktose that dates post-1975. That said, in spite of the obvious expenditures RATP HAS made in bringing their equipment up-to-near-date, It is hard not to shake one’s head in astonishment at their inability to configure the Paris transit system to issue individual tickets that can be used for hybrid journeys involving both train and bus. I think these days that ability is even available with the London Underground!*

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Engineer fun stuff internet peering

Dress to impress – LINX 20th birthday bash photos by @andyd #LINX85

Dressed to impress – terrific images courtesy of Andy Davidson from the LINX 20th birthday bash at the Cumberland Hotel in London. We are all v sophis.

Andy is a keen amateur photographer and is a member of a club – they have regular get-togethers to shoot a variety of artistic subjects.Ask to see more of his stuff. He has a career beyond the internet. He even appears in some of his own photos – very long armed selfies.

All work and no play eh?…

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fun stuff

Spot the difference – Brandon Butterworth, LINX award winner

Meet Brandon Butterworth, BBC Chief Scientist, supporter of LINX, LONAP and other internet engineering not for profit entities and all round good guy. Last night at the LINX 20th birthday bash Brandon was presented with an award. Can’t for the life of me remember what it was for but he deserves it whatever it is.

The two photos below are of Brandon proudly displaying his award. There are subtle differences – can you spot them. After I took one photo I noticed that Brandon had is serious look on so I insisted on a second with him smiling. Much nicer I’m sure you will agree. Can you spot which one it is, children? 🙂

brandon butterworth bbc chief scientist wins award
brandon butterworth bbc chief scientist wins award

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Engineer fun stuff internet peering

The night before the morning after @routerfixer #LINX85

photo booth at LINX85 - 20th birthday celebration

Photo booth pic from the LINX 20th birthday celebrations at the Cumberland Hotel. A great time was had by all. Slight oddity, considering the internetty nature of the event, that the photo booth would only print out “polaroid” style pictures rather than being able to email me an electronic copy (cf the image of my eyeball by the opticians last week). This photo is a photo of a photo.

The two serious looking guys are Clive Stone and Steve Lalonde.

It’s funny to think that the last 20 years, the life of LINX, represent a substantial part of the total lifespan of the internet. ARPANET dates back to 1969. So if you were born before 1969 you pre-date the internet. You will be able to tell because when you first sign up to Facebook and need to choose your date of birth, any year prior to 1969 on the sign up page will involve scrolling down to get to the right number. They make it easy for those born in the “internet age” – their birth dates are displayed on the initial screen.

While I’m in a historical perspective mood and looking for milestones in my timeline it occurs to me that in In 1995, one year after the founding of LINX, I bought the Bill Gates book “The Road Ahead”. At the time this was a visionary work by one of the world’s most successful high tech entrepreneurs. We would have to be patient as the “information superhighway” was still some time in the future.

This is no longer the case. We have been streaming down the information superhighway for some time now, a fact reflected in the success and growth of LINX as an Internet Exchange Point.

I will be 72 years of age on LINX 40th birthday. I won’t be in the internet game although I trust I will till be an user (:). It’s going to be an exciting next 20 years. We no longer need Bill Gates to provide the vision. The vision is whatever your imagination can come up with (teleporting aside).

In the meantime Happy Birthday LINX, and all who sail in her (!?)

Categories
End User fun stuff

Breaking news – the shed is finished

Breaking news – the shed is finished, or as finished as its going to get. Still a few bits of side panel need patching but it ain’t gonna happen.

The two images below represent the state of the shed first thing this morning, covered by a tarpaulin because it had no felt on it followed by the finished job.

Note Joseph who is sat on on top of the shed is modelling a LINX tshirt. Very appropriate for the job especially seeing as the next LINX meeting is this coming Monday/Tuesday. Big thanks to Joe whose B in GCSE woodwork is really starting to pay dividends. Made a lot more sense for me to send Joe up to do the dangerous bits. After all had I done it and fallen off I might have been badly hurt.

Joe’s hammering technique is top notch and worthy of an A grade. Examiner must have had a bad hair day or something.

In the interest of continuing with the mundane aspect of this “breaking news” I am pleased to announce that I didn’t need that second roll of felt after all and will be taking it back to Wickes straight after lunch. Hey £21 is £21. Jobs for this afternoon include taking Kid4 to the cricket nets followed by lighting the barbecue.

tarpaulin covering shed

kid3 on top of shed

If you liked this shed post you will definitely want to read our other terrific shed related content:

Partial shed
The shed disassembly
The online garden shed – the answer to privacy issues

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events fun stuff travel

A day at Newmarket Races

newmarket racecourse

First time at Newmarket Races yesterday. We had tickets courtesy of Adnams Brewery and met at 9.30 am at the West End Tap for a glass of champagne before setting off. It was a glorious sunny day and prospects were good.

I had bought a copy of the Racing Post in order to study the form in the (air-conditioned) charabanc that had been hired to carry us to the meet. Two pounds forty it was! The hidden cost of  day out at the races!

In the end I didn’t bother with form. It’s all too complicated, especially once you’ve had your first glass of champagne. For some races I picked the favourite, or one of the fancied horses, and for others I went for an outsider each way.

Needless to say only one came in. Reality is you only need one decent winner to offset all your other losses and the family will be pleased to know that in all I was only down £18 on the day. Not bad value for a whole day out at the races.

This doesn’t count the cost of the Racing Post plus a few other incidentals such as the Veuve Cliquot but it matter not – these things have to be done properly, innit.

Yesterday’s meet was flat racing. My first time at the flat, not that I’m a regular racegoer – Racing Post would have to drop its prices for that to happen. It did feel a bit strange that each race was just a out and out straight sprint. The horses would start as vague dots in the distance and gradually grow until you could see them properly and begin to get excited.

The only way to really get excited at the races btw is to have a bet. Otherwise it’s just one horse running trotting along against seemingly other identical horses and not in any way that is particularly interesting. Could just as well be donkeys or camels.

Most of the time the excitement is short lived. Even when you win the effect dies off pretty soon after collecting your winnings. It should be possible to measure the rate of decay of excitement:

dEr/dt= -λr Er

where λr is the Racing Excitement exponential decay constant and Er is Racing Excitement.

Note racing excitement is different to other forms of excitements which can have different shaped decay curves and sometimes even exhibit growth.

Also λr should not be confused with Racing Certainty (RC) which whilst often sought is totally mythological.

During the conceptualisation of this post the idea of researching the existence of  λr did spring to mind. Might even be able to get a grant to do it! However the notion of spending lots of time measuring the process of decaying “happiness” or the appearance of happiness somehow didn’t seem conducive to one’s own happiness especially when considering how much champagne would have to be drunk. λr will probably remain theoretical and unproven.

In the meantime there is a shed roof to felt and it’s looking like another beautiful spring day in the shire. A finished off shed = happiness with a very slow rate of decay λshed  ∞  🙂

My thanks to Nige and Lewis @Lewi_D84 from the West End Tap @WestTap in Lincoln for the invite  and their hospitality – try their beers.

newmarket parade ringThis ‘orse didn’t win although I’m sure it tried its best.
horse in newmarket parade ringSign outside the West End Tap. It’s all in the small print:)

free beer signOther good horse related reads:

Sgt Reckless in 3.15 at Cheltenham
Psst – wanna buy a racehorse?

Categories
End User fun stuff

eye – the inside story

eye_664Visit to the opticians last week and this picture caught my eye, so to speak. It does have a partner but I thought one image would be enough. I was just sat there having satisfactorily read GHUTDF1 in very small font when Annabelle the optician popped this up on the screen giving me a clean bill of health.

“Oo can I have a copy of that please”. One click (per pic/eye) and it was on its way to me. Pretty amazing what is “connected”  these days.

It’s a good job my prescription hasn’t changed. My eye sight is so bad the lenses cost a fortune for them to be not the thickness of jam jar bases, especially since I had to have varifocals!!!  I had always thought that my short sightedness would begin to correct itself as I got older and my near vision deteriorated as it inevitably seems to do with age. I was wrong.

Never mind. Worse things happen at sea. For example ships can be enveloped in the tentacles of a giant octopus and dragged down to the inky depths. Alternatively the ship2 could be lost inside the Bermuda triangle, disappearing without trace leaving no clue as to its fate. Both those are a lot worse than wearing varifocals. You have to agree. Bit random mind you.

Also a bit random is that today looks like being a good day to put the roofing felt on the shed. Many of you will have followed the progress of the shed in previous posts. Well today it should get finished and be ready to accept the garden furniture, its designated fate. Fotos will inevitably phollow.

Ciao Amigos…

1 I don’t remember the actual letters. These are random examples of what the letters might have been. It was an eye test not a memory test, which I would have failed 🙂
2 Highly unlikely to be the same ship. Would have been very lucky to have been rescued from that octopus, unless the octopus happened to be the cause of the disappearance within the Bermuda triangle which is possible, I suppose.

Categories
End User food and drink fun stuff gadgets H/W piracy

(Part of) A Day in the Life

08h14 Woke up (to a sweet small kiss from My Missus…thanks, honey). Got out of bed.
08h19 Open Chrome tab to eztv.it. Locate torrent for and click its Magnet link.
08h19 Confirm torrent download on Transmission.
08h15 Check Notifications on iPhoneKory (within arm’s reach at bedside, of course), to get up-to-speed with what happened during sleep time. Emails, text messages, instant messages, downloads completed, Facebook notifications, Twitter notifications, whether the Cubs beat the Cards.
08h18 Drag self from bed to desk chair and lay hands on keyboard and mouse.

When I took keys in hand this morning I thought I would capture a typical day from wake up to lie down. Not only did I think I could do that, but I thought I could make it compelling reading too, something able to easily transport my legion of readers (crowd? pack? coven?) to that special place where the words flow like wine. Belly-button gazing of the highest order and noblest cause, right?

08h20 Go back to eztv.it. Locate torrent for and click its Magnet link.
08h20 Confirm torrent download on Transmission.
08h21 Leave chair.
08h22 08h22 Get dressed, put on shoes, help make bed.

No. It just cannot be done. If getting a typical day down is already boring me into submission there can be little doubt that anyone who is not me is by this point scrambling madly for their own mouse and keyboard in a desperate attempt to avoid subtle but sure brain death. Or they are reaching for a noose or sharp razor.

Multi-tasking. All of us who these days spend any significant amount of time in front of a computer or tablet speak of it. In fact, nowadays the term rolls off our tongues so easily, one has to wonder just how many of the children born today are working on first-wording it for the delight and/or horror of their parents. I can do this while I am doing that and at the same time I have this going on and that will finish at right about the time this is just getting started and by the end of the day I will have done enough work (and played enough) for three people.

Alt+Tab, Alt+Tab, Alt+Tab, Alt+Tab, Alt+Tab (OSX users, substitute ⌘ for Alt)

So later that same morning I found myself working on this post for trefor.net, checking Facebook, finishing up an article edit and pushing it back across to the client, checking Facebook, writing a bit more into my post, integrating Kat Edmonson’s “Way Down Low” into my music library, direct messaging a friend on Twitter to set plans for meeting up in London next week, using Lightroom to touch up a few photos I took last weekend in my wife’s fantastic Normandy garden, configuring my just-arrived Ricoh Theta (more on that soon enough), slicing-and-dicing my way around airbnb.com in search of a one-night stay in Chartres for a visiting friend, tweaking my post a little more, tagging myself in a Facebook photo, chasing a an alert for a Rolleiflex 2.8F that recently came up for sale on eBay, and googling (via Bing.com) reviews on a new Egyptian restaurant in the neighborhood (a boy’s gotta eat).

Anyone out there want to hear about my afternoon?

Life Day Task

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eleanor cross End User

Eleanor Cross for Lincoln – latest update

At this stage of the game pictures speak louder than words. Just after I was there the bishop of Lincoln swung by for a gander. Happy with progress apparently.

A few pics for you. Links to previous Eleanor Cross posts at the end of this one so that you can track progress with the sculpture. Much of the work is painstaking chipping away of large parts of the stone block that aren’t needed for the stature itself. You can see from the close up the striata where Alan Ward has been chiselling away.

Eleanor Cross for Lincoln work in progeress

Eleanor Cross for Lincoln work in progeress

Eleanor Cross for Lincoln work in progress

Eleanor Cross for Lincoln work in progress

Previous Eleanor Cross for Lincoln posts include:

Eleanor Cross begins to emerge
Eleanor Cross – the carving starts
Eleanor Cross – choosing the stone
New Eleanor Cross for Lincoln – a project of national significance

Categories
fun stuff

State of the art retail tech at new Lincoln Tesco – exclusive preview

checkout screen at new Lincoln Tescoxbox and playstation display at Tesco LincolnWent along to the preview evening of the new Tesco in Lincoln, a store jam packed with the latest in retail tech. This post takes a look at some of it including mobile point of sale technology and new high speed checkouts.

I wouldn’t ordinarily get excited about the opening of a new shop – witness my amazement at the queues outside a new Joules in downtown Lincoln when I was walking to work one day. I live down the road from Tesco xbox sound shower in lincoln tescoin Lincoln and they’ve been building a new one since forever. A few weeks ago I was carrying my shopping and negotiating the building site and happened to stop to chat with one of their managers to ask when the new gaff was opening.

The manager, Les I believe his name was, waxed lyrically, nay excitedly about the forcoming changes. “Got state of the art tech and one of the company’s best young managers tesco mobile POS displayin David Walrdon”. I hooked up with Dave on LinkedIn and got myself invited to the above referenced preview.

I was after tech stuff. Operating systems, frequencies, percentage cost savings, efficiencies, bandwidth. Interesting things like that. Unfortunately all I got was 80Mbps broadband and approximately 20 wifi hotspots and I could always talk to their IT guy once the flurry of activity over the opening of the new store had died down.

kids tablet display at tescoWith hindsight that is fair enough. If your business is running a shop you outsource the details like how IT works under the hood. In fact you outsource everything. When a store needs a new petrol station they just order a “petrol station” and one turns up and is installed, just like that. Same goes for whole Tesco Express stores – just like they do at McDonalds.

The preview evening was really an opportunity for Tesco to show some VIPs (in this case me and 150 close friends) around and to beta test some departments. In our case the bakery which insisted that we walked away with carrier bags full of cakes and bread and then ushered us to the cafe restaurant (called Decks) where a full roast dinner was imposed upon us. Good job I hadn’t eaten too many pancakes and Krispy Kreme doughnuts on my way around.

There is tech to talk about. The electrical department has some really cool stuff on show. There are screens everywhere and staff can swipe their Hudls to move the content onto these screens. Good oh. A lot easier to see things in 100 inch Technicolour HD than 7inch Hudl.

There were big XBox and Playstation displays and the former came with a sound shower whereby you could only really her the sound if you stood under the “shower”. This was still being installed so  I couldn’t try it out – I’m not in to games anyway. Tesco are also pushing BlinkBox heavily as a “better” alternative to Netflix. I asked the manager whether they were having any Net Neutrality issues but he didn’t know 🙂

iphone display at tescoThe mobile demos were v cool. When you picked up a phone the display in front of you came up with info on that phone. Pick up two or more phones and you got side by side comparisons of those phones. Note there is a limit to how many phones you can pick up… What struck me was that it would be very useful if they could have displayed Apple and Samsung products next to each other so that you could make the comparisons. The Apple marketing Gestapo do not allow this and actively police the policy. They don’t want you to like ’em – they just want your money, whatever it takes.

Tesco naturally want you to hang around this area. They have a tablet play area for little kids and free teas and coffee for the grown ups. They are after PC World and Currys’ business. I have been buying stuff from PC World and the experience isn’t great. Takes ages to process you at the checkout, at least if you want a business VAT receipt. Their systems are archaic. Last weekend I bought a (gulp) cheap ASUS laptop. I needed one for a few legacy apps at home. It was only £250 so getting down to the Chromebook level. Build standard was not nearly as good though and no Solid State Hard Drive. What’s more it had no CD drive which I didn’t find out about until a few days later. The same laptop but inc CD drive was on sale at Tesco for the same £250 price. The guy at PC World didn’t feel it worth mentioning that there was no build in CD drive. Either that or he didn’t know. Next time I’ll get it from Tesco (hopefully there won’t be a next time for a legacy PC).

new high speed checkout at tescoThe other bit of tech on show was at the checkout. The staff were a little cagey when I asked if you could repeat their demo so that I could video it. This checkout was supposedly going to give Tesco a competitive advantage. Other superstores were looking at it. I didn’t mentio nthat I’d already taken loads of pics and one partial vid. The store opens today anyway so I don’t think it matters.

The checkout looked like something out of a hospital – a smaller version of a full body scanner. You just chucked your shopping onto a high speed belt and what seemed like 10 or checkout4_250more scanners scanned it from all angles as it went through. V impressive. Any unscanned items just got picked up by an attentive member of staff and manually scanned. Dunno how they knew which ones to pick up. Should have asked but I was too busy videoing.

The store is full of lots of interesting tech for running the business. Inventory management and ordering for example. checkout at tescoUnfortunately this is going to have to wait until I’ve seen their IT guy which I may get around to. Writing about retail does seem to come with benefits. In the case of Tesco it was free bread and a meal. Wandering around Retail Expo with my mate Umar from Murco Petroleum it was the free cocktails that seemed to be dispensed from practically every booth. Hic

There is only so much column space you can allocate to retail. Next up another exclusive update on the Lincoln Eleanor Cross project. You heard it first on trefor.net…

Another good read:

Retail Expo – observations on mobile devices

Update 28th June – they have stopped using the multiscanner checkouts in the way I’ve described here – machine kept missing items and they had to be retrieved by a member of staff for individual scanning.

Categories
Engineer fun stuff

Breaking strain of a KitKat – official definition

wrapped kitkatThe question of the day is what is the breaking strain of a KitKat? This came up in conversation in the Strugglers last Friday “early doors”. I don’t recall the context, it was in the pub. In the pub these things have to be written down, or immediately forgotten.

The act of writing things you hear in pubs used to be done on the back of beer mats. Nowadays it’s rattled off in an email addressed to oneself which is what I did in this case. Saves a fortune in beer mats. Extends their useful life. People will no doubt still vandalise beermats, primarily in the execution of the “who threw that beermat” joke whereby a couple of tears are made in one side of the mat which is then affixed to the nostrils. The person stands up and utters “who threw that beermat”. Always gets a laugh. Ish. The how many beermats can you flip game is not described here as it is not destructive to the beermat. I digress.

Continuing with the digression one has to ask oneself how many good jokes heard in pubs have been forgotten because they weren’t immediately written down. How many great ideas have foundered on the beer washed rocks of the tavern, inn or public house?

part opened kitkat

Lots. When I was a student in Bangor I used to occasionally hitch-hike the length of Wales to visit my grandmother who lived in Cefneithin, a small mining community between Llanelli and Caerfyrddin. She had a traditional Welsh approach to meals. A cooked breakfast would be followed by elevenses, lunch at 12, afternoon tea at four and then dinner at 6pm at which point, after a respectable interval I would be kicked out to the pub and return home to a plate of ham sandwiches waiting for me in the kitchen.

4 fingers kitkatOn one such occasion I went to the pub and woke up the next day to find a beermat with the words “parrot” and “coal” written on the back. They were the key points to a great joke I’d heard the night before. Only problem was I couldn’t for the life of me remember the rest of the joke. Ah well.

This doesn’t get us any nearer to answering the question of the day. Before we can answer we have to agree on the unit of crossed kitkatmeasure used to define the breaking strain. If you look up “breaking strain” on Wikipedia you find yourself redirected to a page about Deformation mechanics. I had hoped to come up with a post here that illustrated an intellectual grasp of the necessary physics associated with KitKat breaking strains described in an easily understood way that further showed me as a true man of the people.

Unfortunately having stared at the Wikipedia page for some time my brain began to hurt. I pulled back before the activity got too dangerous. My brain too, like the humble KitKat, has a breaking strain. The units for the breaking strain of my brain are likely to be different to that of the breaking strain of a KitKat. I am unable to describe either for the reasons mentioned above.

In the interest of finishing off this post to our mutual satisfaction it is still necessary to somehow define the breaking strain of said KitKat. A sensible way to do this might be to describe it in terms of thumb pressure. This however brings with it problems.

Experience tells us that a four finger KitKat will be easier to break than a two finger job, assuming that you’re trying to break it along the vertical central line1. This is because the additional width of four fingers over two fingers brings with it twice as much amplification of force due to leverage from the sides of the KitKat.

The breaking strain will therefore vary dependent on the size of the KitKat. We don’t need to worry about that here but in the table below the differences are examined. Laboratory testing (in the pub) has shown that there are distinct grades of thumb pressure:

Thumb pressure Practical use
Very light No effect on a KitKat. Only occasionally applied when a gentle nose scratch is required
Quite light No effect on a KitKat. Used when attempting to turn over a page in a paper or novel, sometimes requiring the application of moisture to the thumb
Lightish Feels as if it should have an effect on four fingers of KitKat but in practice does not. Usually the pressure required to scratch a bit of crud off your phone screen.
Moderately medium This will always break a four finger KitKat and is the standard pressure for such a task. Also works on spaghetti when you are trying to get it all in the pan. Not good enough for two fingers.
Medium Also used in breaking four fingers although borderline overkill for many people. Could work for two fingers in the right environmental conditions. Is usable on Breakaways but why would you?
Strong medium The standard application for two fingers. Not really suitable for four fingers as can cause finger strain when the KitKat breaks unexpectedly easily.
Medium strong As with four fingers in the Medium category this is almost overkill for two fingers. This amount of pressure is almost enough to break a thick slab of Cadbury’s chocolate although we all know this often takes a bit of a smack on the corner of a table to get it going. Also useful for breaking pork scratchings into smaller more manageable pieces.
Strong Overkill for all types of KitKat and should only be used with caution on anything as thumb strain is a real danger. Will definitely work on thick slabs of chocolate. Not many people can exert this amount of thumb pressure. A recognised component of “plumber’s grip”
Uber strong Only reached after completing 7 years plumbing apprenticeship. Very rare.

That’s it as far as KitKats and breaking strains go. Hope this has been of some use. Look out for future posts on quantification of willpower when offered another beer.
broken kitkat

Images courtesy of @TomAndThat – follow him.

1 For the purpose of this exercise we assume that the KitKat is to be broken into two equal halves along the central line. Breaking off one finger with three remaining requires totally different physics. We also assume that the KitKat is not being broken across the middle of all fingers. Ironically to do this for four fingers takes more effort than for two which is the total opposite to the scenario first described.

Other food related posts:

How to cook the perfect baked bean
Best pancake toppings
Important announcement on a Sunday morning

Categories
agricultural End User

Wednesday night gardening on trefor.net – the weed patch

weeds

Arguably the finest patch of weeds I have ever seen. This plot of land is fenced off from the road by a metal fence. I had to manoeuvre the camera so that the lens looked between two bits of metal thus ensuring a totally natural feel to the image. No enhancements have been applied. The shot was taken at approximately 8pm on Wednesday 14th May. It was  lovely spring evening with a slight edge to it. I was walking home from the AGM of the 18th Bailgate Scout Group which had been a suitably short affair. There was no one I knew in the Morning Star which was en route home so I didn’t stop and carried on whereupon I came across the weed patch. Fair play.

Categories
fun stuff gadgets ipv6 mobile apps

Kitchen of things – the connected juicer #IPv6 #internetofthings

The connected kitchen, made possible by IPv6 and the internet of things is something oft discussed. Fridges that remind you when you need more milk or when the milk is about to go off is one “useful” and habitually touted suggestion that springs to mind.

I was recently chatting to my mam and dad about the coal fired range that used to be in my Welsh grandmother’s stone floored kitchen. The tone of the conversation was how technology has moved on. It came as a total surprise to hear that the range was a step on from my mam’s childhood in Ireland where all they had was an open fire with some bricks around it to prop up the saucepans. juicer

We now fill our kitchens with more gadgets than we really have room for. At our house we have a food mixer, handheld liquidiser, pasta maker, slow cooker, George Foreman Grill, orange juice squeezer (hand held lever job) orange juice squeezer (electric), garlic press, two fondues, a tandoori oven (clay pot), scales (electric and with counter weights) as well as the usual microwave, kettle toaster, dishwasher, fridge and rangemaster double width cooker.  I’m sure there must be more. Just can’t think of any and Mrs Davies ain’t around to ask. The (cheapo) bread maker was rubbish and was thrown out years ago. It’s been replaced by the fair hands of Mrs Davies who kneads an excellent loaf.

Imagine if all these gadgets were “connected”. For one thing we would need a very robust Wireless LAN. What sort of data would they provide?

The orange juicer would be able to let me know how many oranges I’d squeezed in its lifetime, average number of oranges squeezed per day, volume of orange juice provided etc etc. I could probably associate a google account with juicer username – multiple usernames of course to accommodate profiles for the whole family.

This would enable google to sell my data, anonymously of course, so that  I could benefit from great deals on  fresh oranges, spare juicer parts (these metal squeezing bits don’t last forever you know) and even juicer servicing contracts where the bloke turns up to fix your juicer just before it is about to go kaput (or whatever juicers do at the end of their life).

We would need the juicer to automatically recognise users – logging in would be a faff. This would generate a hugely lucrative new wave of internet enabled juicer sales. This isn’t the kind of thing that can be retrofitted.

And then there’s the app. Downloadable from the Play Store, App Store, Marketplace or whatever your phone or tablet uses. It’s all good stuff for an economy emerging from the worst recession since the bubonic plague.

I’ve only mentioned juicers so far. Yer juicer would be integrated with the fridge to coordinate stock level of oranges. You would have to keep the oranges in the fridge even if you don’t do that now. It’s the only way of keeping track of stock levels. Whoever heard of an internet connected fruit bowl! Doh!

And don’t forget to let your fridge know when you are off on holiday. Last thing you want is the Tesco van turning up to deliver automatically ordered oranges and you not being in. Think of the growing pile of increasingly rotting oranges on your doorstep. What a waste. What a pong!

I’ve only really mentioned the juicer but each gadget would have its own unique set of data. The GFG would tell you how much fat it had extracted from your diet, the breadmaker, should you have one could tell you how much fat you had put back in to your diet. The GFG could obviously hook up with the breadmaker to tell it to go easy on the portion size. The toaster would also connect with the breadmaker to tell it that more supplies were needed. This is all such useful stuff. Innit. Reality is that we probably would find uses for a connected kitchen but won’t know what they are until we’ve tried a few of the connected apps and gadgets. Just like some apps on our phones strike a chord1 and some don’t and are discarded contemptuously or just clog up your screen never to be used.

Me old gran would be turning in her grave. Suspect a connected griddle wouldn’t have made her Welsh Cakes come out any better. Lovely they were:)

In the meantime I’ll just have to stick to asking the butler whether cook has finished making the bread for the day. Lovely smells wafting up from the kitchen to the East Wing.

1 I have the guitar tuner app, actually

Categories
Engineer fun stuff H/W voip voip hardware

Snom Audio Lab

Dusan Aleksic is the Head of Hardware Development for Snom Technology AG

In the end of nineties Serbia was under UN sanctions and as a young electro engineer I was a part of the small team tasked with maintaining the gas masks in stock. I had an open issue before me: the carbon microphone was out of date and needed to be replaced. Unfortunately, the microphone in question was originally produced in another part of the former Yugoslavia and it could no longer be had. Also, copying it didn’t work as our punch tool machine was unable to make such complicated rounded holes with the strange patterns, and simply making holes on the microphone’s surface and trying to talk through them produced terrible results. We quickly realized that we would need to create a new design and establish a correlation between hole-shapes and design patterns of the microphone and its audio performance. In our audio lab we had a single B&K audio measurement system, which was a bit old hat but still in good shape and still in calibration range, and after some time the job was complete.

I moved on and became a part of the new growing network convergence world that first developed digital terminals and after that VoIP and wireless devices. In the beginning of the 2000s, VoIP’s early stages, the acoustical audio measurements become unimportant. People believed that the “mighty” DSP could solve any problem, and the knowledge on terminal devices and acoustic design had been pushed to the second plane: in most cases speech transmission quality judgment excluded electroacoustic components.

How It All Started

At snom technology AG we were aware of the complexity of VoIP terminal devices from the early beginning. We improved audio quality over the years by combining our acoustic experience with the latest DSP algorithms and our VoIP signaling know-how. Specifically, we solved various issues inherent in VoIP technology, including processing delay, network delay, network packet loss, need for VAD and CNG, countless types of noise, etc. And, of course, we addressed the main issue, that being synchronization, as by its very nature VoIP is an asynchronous connection, and sometimes audio packets are dropped simply because the sender and receiver are not using the same clock.

VoIP Audio Measurement equipment evolves in sync with VoIP technology, and as a VoIP pioneer snom has helped it to quickly reach a mature state which, improving overall overall audio quality through the use of various narrow and wide band codes.

Snom Audio Lab at a Glance

For modern telecommunications, old audio standards such as TIA-810B (Narrow band) and TIA-920 (Wide Band) fail to match requirements. These standards are focused on half duplex connection. Important aspects of the audio quality are not exposed, and many typical problems remain unresolved.

snom1snom2

TIA-based audio optimized devices are unable to match customer expectations for perfect audio quality, and for that reason two years ago the snom development team began following the latest audio requirements for wide-band audio based on ETSI 202 739 and ETSI 202 740.

With ETSI, all requirements from the TIA standard are covered, but it doesn’t stop there. ETSI extends the requirements in frequency response domain and in loudness ratings, which requires high quality electroacoustic converters. ETSI also includes double talk behavior measurements and speech quality in presence of network impairments (packet loss, jitter) and, at the end, speech quality in presence of the background noise.

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Today the snom audio lab uses Head Acoustic software and equipment, and I believe we have the best-in-the-market tool to create the non-compromise audio quality. We can fully cover all ETSI measurements, and we can do additional various HQS-IP items, such as TOSQA and PESQ, or spectral echo attenuation vs. time, or test our mockup designs to fix all over-limits distortions in the very early phase of the ID development.

Snom has put all of these tools and software to design the 7xx phone family, and with this product we deliver the best quality to our customers, this according to the latest requirements of modern telecommunication. Snom7xx, for example, has been built to pass the frequency response requirement based on ETSI 202-379 at every handset-to-ear pressure. The handset uses a specially designed high leak receiver that allows for the best sound quality at every handset. We use the most realistic artificial ear type during tests, too, which makes the receive curve extremely difficult to surpass.

On another front, high quality jitter buffer and packet loss concealment software in snom 7xx have been improved via the Head Acoustic network simulator in very bad network conditions. The speakerphone has excellent double talk performance, and algorithms such as background noise cancellation and adaptive gain control provide for voice clarity in every condition.
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In the end, I am glad to appease the machine haters out there by saying that subjective tests are as important as objective tests, and I can remember many cases where the good objectively-tuned phone just provides bad audio. At snom, well-tuned audio devices mean a lot of objective tuning followed by subjective sessions, until the job has is finished.

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Categories
End User food and drink

On yer bike – the big cheese

cheese

Say cheese for the camera. On yer bike! Cheesy jokes? Don’t know any. Gromit. I like a nice tangy cheddar. None of this mild rubbish although ironically I also like the processed cheese slices they put on top of burgers – a hangover from my youth. Quite like roquefort too. Happen to have some of that in the fridgidaire. The kids don’t get roquefort which is good – more for me innit. They sell truckles of Dambusters cheddar on the bar at the Dambusters pub in Scampton. V good. Both the pub and the cheese. They don’t make the cheese at the pub. It’s a pub not a dairy. They do make beer there.  It’s also a v good microbrewery.  Worth a try. Cheese and pub. Brie is best served at room temperature.  Needs to be almost dripping. Goes well with bacon in a crusty baguette. For fondues you need emmental and gruyere together with white wine, garlic and a drop of kirsch. Yum. Used to love Bel Paese Italian soft cheese but you never seem to see it in the shops anymore. The most popular bits of an Austrian smoked processed cheese are the ends although all of it is good. Not sure I totally get this cheese with bits of fruit in it. Apricots for example. Have tried cheese with chillies but you can take it or leave it tbh. Normandy camaembert soaked in calvados is definitely worth a try. Give it a go, if you can find some. As I recall they sell it in the Cheese Society – advertised in the photo and free of charge here. Cheese – rhymes with please. Louise.

Other food related posts:

How to cook the perfect baked bean
Best pancake toppings
Important announcement on a Sunday morning

Categories
End User fun stuff

The passport photo is here – all nationalities

Roll up, roll up. Come and see the passport photo. It has arrived. It is well and truly here. The day you thought would never come. Disbelievers every man jack of you.

What is more, all nationalities are welcome. No parochial “you’re not from round here” short sighted UKIP voting bigotry in our gaff. No siree (Bob). Everybody is welcome.

Bring the kids. Bring your mother in law. Bring a bottle and bring one along for me.

Passport Photo’s Here! All Nationalities. passport

Categories
End User fun stuff voip

When You Look Behind You There’s No Open Door

Someone asked me, “What is the future of VoIP?”

I can’t even predict my future living situation, let alone the fate of the Internet.

I went to dinner last night with an out-of-town friend. We met some other friends down in a part of south Austin that not long ago was a dinky mostly-Hispanic neighborhood, complete with dinky houses and dinky Mexican restaurants. On this occasion, though – and I understand this is pretty much the norm now – we waited over an hour for a table at a restaurant called El Chile. On a Monday night.

Once again: ATX WTF?

What’s going on? Is there some festival in town nobody told me about? All of us are baffled. And more than merely baffled we all lament our missed opportunities, having not bought more real estate in Austin in the 90s.

Back in 1992 I lived in a little cabin off of West Mary Street in south Austin, close enough to the railroad tracks to high-five train engineers as they passed by my window. And when I say “little”, I mean that place was small, with a ceiling low enough that any person of average height could extend their arms overhead and press against it. I was reading a lot of existential literature back then. The guys who lived in the other half of the cabin dropped a lot of acid, and I had a standing invitation.

I realized one day that I had to make a life change, when while reading one of Henry Miller’s diatribes on the value of excrement I found myself saying, “This guy makes a lot of sense.” That was too much. I couldn’t go down that path. I laid down the Miller, and the Sartre, and the Nietzsche. I cleaned up. I sobered up. I resurrected my forsaken programming skills, and I went to work, launching a career in software development.

Computer science was not a profession on the radar when I was a kid. Instead, it was called Data Processing. A bunch of guys huddled in the basements of tall buildings who wore pocket protectors, button-down white shirts, and who carried slide rules. And I am not talking caricature. I met these guys, being friends with various adults who worked near the data processing department, and that is how it truly was. The image from the 70s of the stereotypical weakling engineer getting corporate sand kicked in his face? Based on fact. Those programmers were not among society’s movers and shakers.

Things change.

Nowadays, it’s like those old E.F. Hutton commercials. (I know, you’re too young. Google it.) These days in a post-9/11 world, where the dot-com bust has faded in memory, the guy who launches the latest greatest IPO has the ear of the tech world. When programmer geek-nerd talks, people listen.

And who is that? Who has everyone’s ear these days? Is there anyone who can really track where technology is going to be in 5 years? In 2 years? Next year?

I’m sitting at dinner with my friends – instead of waiting an hour behind a line of hipsters we walk across the street to another restaurant called Bouldin Creek Coffeehouse that offers a Slacker Buffet: rice and beans. Perfect – and we start talking about missed opportunities. I tell my out-of-town friend that the little cabin I occupied in 1992 is probably selling for $500k these days, and he — correctly — winces in disbelief.

Bouldin Creek Coffeehouse

Another friend at the table worked at Microsoft for a time, and he tells us of one project manager who got in early and cashed out with $20 million. This person then created a startup with that money and sold a grand total of 13 units of her product, 5 of which she bought herself. $19.8 million burned through. Riches to rags.

Some people who end up in the right place at the right time come to the (wrong) conclusion that they are geniuses. Others realize the nature of luck and don’t ascribe their success to their personal abilities. And still others have to fail and succeed several times before their true abilities shine through. Time reveals the truth.

People who work hard and who are smart tend to do well in a meritocracy, which often leads to the incorrect assumption that someone who is in a position of power or success must have greater abilities than someone who is not. This is one of the pitfalls of living in a meritocracy.

Who came out on the winning side of last year’s technology?  Is that going to be the winning horse in the next race?

I worked with a woman who left PCs Limited in 1988, just before that company changed its name to Dell Computer Corporation. She kicks herself to this day. How could she have known? I kick myself sometimes for not re-investing in Apple in 2008. I kick myself sometimes for not investing in Netflix. I try not to dwell in regrets or on those blind spots of the past, though, opting instead to derive what lessons there are to learn from it all.

The fact is that there may yet be some value in the words of Henry Miller, who wrote:

“This is the greatest damn thing about the universe. That we can know so much, recognize so much, dissect, do everything, and we can’t grasp it.”

Over this past week I spent time trying to grasp the future of data and voice over the Internet. It’s just an area of focus. There is no end point. There will never be a point where it’s all understood.

I am reminded of something the wise old Tallulah Bankhead said:

“If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.”

So I guess this is it. It is the time. Get on with it.

Categories
agricultural broken gear food and drink fun stuff Weekend

Saturday Snapshot (10-May-2014)

Corner anyone in France and ask them what the first thing is that comes to mind when they think of Normandy. Will they answer “The cream/butter/cheese/crepes/Calvados!”? Maybe. Will they answer “D-Day!” or “French liberation!” Uh…probably not. “Le Mont St. Michel”? I’d be shocked. No, the first word that typically comes to the lips of any self-respecting French person in association with Normandy is “rain”.

Of course, for the purpose of this website and its primary intended audience, all French person enunciations are translated into English. Glad to get that out in front here. OK, continuing…

Yes, Normandy is notorious for being one extremely rainy place, and not without good reason. I cannot offer any statistics (and it isn’t as if anyone reading my words here would really want to trudge through them, anyway), but after nearly 8 years of part-time residency in Pays d’Auge — Normandy’s finest area, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise — I can say with authority that anyone coming to the region unprepared to deal with the wet stuff has their head in the clouds.

Oh, don’t be afraid to laugh. Sure, that crack was a little on-the-nose, but that doesn’t mean it is undeserving of your smile. Really, is it wrong that so much of why I enjoy writing is the opportunities it presents for entertaining myself?

My Missus and I planned to head over to the regular Saturday farmer’s market in Lisieux, and no grey skies or drizzly misty rain or unseasonal May temps (for non-Normandy France places, anyway) was going to keep us from doing so. There were Orbecs to be had — reason enough to throw on a slicker — and other delectables as well. Fresh-pressed apple juice..cream so magical it should come with its own fairy tale..a tub of those remarkable slow-cooked potatoes with lardon that make me want to do handstands, somersaults, cartwheels, and other gymnastic acts I no longer have any hope of completing. We would not be daunted.

Arriving in Lisieux, My Missus headed to a parking lot in which we usually have success, and slipped our tiny rental car into the last visible spot, skirting just ahead of some noodnik who was just a little too interested in his phone at just the wrong moment. Survival of the fittest, baby. (Of course, it didn’t hurt that our rental was an itty-bitty Fiat Panda on this day, a “car” that wouldn’t survive collision with a good-sized rodent let alone any vehicle on the road.) So soon enough we were walking — singing? — in the rain, the market in our sights.

Overcast skies and dark clouds are lousy conditions under which to take photos (color photos, anyway), so at first I figured I wouldn’t be adding to my collection of market photos. Still, I had our Olympus TG-1 in tow (a “tough” camera, a possession of my father-in-law’s that My Missus came to when he passed on about a year ago) and megapixels are really cheap, so I resolved to snap, just to see where my eye fell on such a day. Tentative at first — no matter how alive and colorful a bunch of radishes seems, there would be better Saturdays for that kind of image — I shortly found myself firing at every marginally interesting umbrella that fell within view.
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Only once before can I recall spending more than a minute-and-a-half considering umbrellas, that being back in the first semester of my first year of university (1983, nosy reader) when I wrote a one-page essay for an Introduction to Creative Writing class on the necessity of having one on a rainy night walking around midtown Manhattan (lest one fall victim to those in the hands of others). I have owned umbrellas, of course (though I don’t think I’ve actually ever paid for one), and I have never had a bone to pick with one (though I never think to grab one when leaving my dwelling on a rainy day), but other than that long-ago-lost five-paragraph throw-down I have never paid them much mind. Perhaps, then, this is why all of a sudden on a rainy Saturday Normandy morning I was finding umbrellas to be so devastatingly curious.

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At first I just waited for the umbrellas to come my way, content with serendipity’s role. Before much time at all had passed, though, I was on the hunt, leaving My Missus to take care of our market needs.

“That one is boring so I won’t bother.” “That one must’ve come from some trade show or other.” “Wow! that is one big-ass umbrella!” “Strange the high percentage of mostly-broken umbrellas people seem content to continue putting to (hardly good) use.” “I wonder, is the fact that her umbrella matches her purse and shoes intended or a just happy accident of fate?” “Funny how I don’t know what My Missus’s umbrella looks like…I wonder if she is wondering where I am?”

The mind, once focused, can be a powerful, dangerous, slippery place, indeed, and there are puddles everywhere!

Related posts:

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Engineer fun stuff

Partial shed

There follows herein two partial shed images. The first image is more partial than the second for reasons that are obvious when you compare the two.

Way back when I worked at Marconi there was a  guy called Steve Meats who was a comedian and who as part of his act wore a partial trousers. This was a pair of trousers with the legs cut off at approximately knee height and which were sewn back on with some sort of suspenders. They were funny. The partial trousers have no relation to the partial shed.

The partial shed is still partial at the time of writing because the heavens have verily opened upon the space where the shed stands and health and safety common sense has dictated a withdrawal to the shelter of the whole house and a refreshing cup of tea.

I say whole house but the intention is not to leave the reader with the impression that I am in every room in our not insubstantial dwelling but that the house itself is not partial. This is good because partial houses can be very damp, especially in the prevailing meteorological conditions and dampness can lead to discomfort and wet socks. As a point of information I am not wearing socks at the moment. Summer is almost upon us and socks are not always needed at this time of year.

In revealing that the house is not partial I am of course not saying that it is impartial. This play with words would be a misleading use of an alternate definition for the word partial.

The partial shed requires the fitting of a roof for it to no longer be partial. Fitting the roof is going to require the use of step ladders and is better done in dry conditions. I am not optimistic that suitable conditions will be in play before Tuesday which is the next dry day according to the Met Office website.

The Met Office is reasonably accurate these days and I am happy that no further shed erecting will take place before then. This will be reviewed in the light of conditions on the ground, just as umpires will assess whether play can restart after rain has stopped play in a cricket match. The shed will not have had the benefit of ground staff running out to protect it with covers. The head groundsman at our house, ie me, has adjudged that little harm will come to it in the meantime.

It must be said that the process of erecting a (partial) shed is quite satisfying. A man easily rediscovers diy skills long considered lost, or at least vestigial. Instinct comes in to play. This should be seen as especially useful once the reader is armed with the knowledge that the shed is around fifteen years old and was originally a play house.   Its disassembly and reassembly on its new site is the completion of its reincarnation as a shed/garden furniture store, a process that will also save the Davies household several hundred pounds by obviating the need to buy a new metal shed which is what I had my eye on.

Because the shed is old the construction process is not exact and the insertion of additional screws here and there has been necessary to get the job done. This has been made effortless by the use of the new Makita cordless drill/screwdriver which every man should have.

At this point I am going to call literary proceedings to a halt. The rain has stopped, we are into a sunny spell and I am off out to inspect the wicket. We may get this shed finished before Tuesday after all 🙂

a partial shed

a less partial shed at the bottom of the gardenA short while later… the rain did hold off long enough to get the roof on, with the help of Robert from the allotment over the back (thx Rob). Still need to get some new roofing felt on but the three pictures below otherwise show the whole process.

shed1

shed2

And finally the view from the inside of the shed looking out. Wahey…shed3

Categories
travel

Underneath the arches… Lincoln Cathedral

Panoramic photograph of the inside of one of the archways of the building that separates the Cathedral / Minster Yard from Castle Hill in Lincoln.

The first image was begun a the bottom looking through the arch and the “aperture size”1 has therefore come out too small to record the vaulted ceiling.

The second was begun at the ceiling so the archway itself has come out too bright.

The combined effect is that you have all the data you need to process an image in your own mind as to what the arch looks like:) Hey presto (etc).

PS sorry about the scaffolding. We are having some work done.
archway between Lincoln Cathedral and Castle Hillarchway between Lincoln Cathedral and Castle Hill

1 If that’ how you put it – I’m no expert on photography. I just know what I like 🙂